Today, thanks to my guest editor William Grimm of the Fairytaleland Times, I have managed to get a letter from one of the longest known admirers of Singapore, Princess Aurora, formerly known as the Sleeping Beauty, and her own personal perspective on the Wee Shu Min incident. Despite of her long years of retirement from political activity, she feels glad that Singapore has adopted her country's system of governance, and gladly shares her insights here especially with regard to a similar incident in her country.


If you only knew how to get yourself a fairy godmother!

LITTLE MATCH GIRL HAD IT COMING
By Princess Aurora
Mom's friend sent her some letter written to the Fairytale Land Times by some bleeding stupid 17-year old fairytalelander simply known as little match girl. (She's my age? why does she not even have a name!) whining about how fairytaleland is such an insecure place, how the poor peasants fear for their jobs, how the pool of elvenlandian "talent" (dismissively chucked between inverted commas) is really a tsunami that will consume us all (no actually he didn't say that, he probably said Elven Talern Bery Bad.), how the kings really needs to save us from inevitable doom but they aren't because they are stick-shoved-up-ass elites who have no idea how the world works, yadayadayadayada.

i am inclined - too much, perhaps - to dismiss such people as crackpots. stupid crackpots. the sadder class. too often fairytalelanders kid themselves into believing that our society, like most others, is compartmentalized we are a tyranny of the beauties, and the rest are the beasts, unless they get enough magic to transform themselves. just ask my friend Belle, do you think she would have stuck with that horny bison? anyway, they don't even know how to get themselves a good fairy godmother?

if you're not good enough, life will kick you in the balls. oh i forgot, you're a girl, you don't have any. well you wouldn't even be invited to see prince charming's ball, for sure. that's just how things go. there's no point in lambasting the kings for making our society one that is, i quote, "far too survival of fittest". it's the same everywhere. yes discrimination exists, and it is sad, but most of the time if people would prefer hiring other people over you, it's because they're better. it's so sad when people like little match girl lament the kind of world that fairytaleland will be if we make it so uncertain. go be friggin communist.

then again, it's easy for me to say. my future isn't certain but i guess right now it's a lot brighter than most people's. little miss matchgirl will read this and brand me as an 18-year old elite, one of the sinners who will inherit the country and run her stock to the gutter. go ahead. the world is about winners and losers. it's only sad when people who could be winners are marginalised and oppressed. is dear little match girl starving? has dear little match girl been denied an education? has dear little match girl been forced into child prostitution? has dear little match girl had her clan massacred by the government?

i should think not. dear little match girl is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, wait, she has been starving, denied an education, and the only reason she wasn't forced into prostitution was because she ain't got a pair of tits like mine. oops, and she died shortly before the previous new year? come on, you can't blame yourself for dying if you try to light matches to see what other people are having for dinner. those other people have dinner to eat BECAUSE they work, unlike you, okay?

please, get out of my elite uncaring face.

whoops, you already have.

cheers.

WHO MOVED YOUR CHEESE, DEREK WEE?

For those of you who have been paying attention to the Singapore blogosphere, you may have heard of Derek Wee's tirade on how he feels his CHEESE HAS BEEN MOVED, and some girl called Wee Shu Min's subsequent reply to the prospect of moving cheese. Now given Wee Shu Min is not even in the job market, and therefore, has yet to experience what having her cheese moved is like, I would first tell her that no matter what, you have got to realize the kinds of cheese that exist on the market.

Now in Spencer Johnson's bestseller, two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two guys, Hem and Haw, realize that the cheese is missing. The mice go off to find the cheese, and the humans deliberate. Haw eventually goes forth, but Hem stays behind.

In our globalized world, we are all going to understand what it is like to have our cheese moved. Yes, all of a sudden I am going to find that plate of Camembert missing on my table, replaced by a pack of Kraft 12 slice Cheddar singles. I will have to settle for pizza without mozzarella, and forget about my Swiss Fondue. But that does not matter, because each slice of Kraft contains all my calcium needs daily. In addition, who wants to eat Camembert or Brie? Queen of Cheeses, they call Brie. Which means Brie is for sissies. Thus explaining its popularity among the French, those no good wankers who march on the streets to protest the loss of their jobs to Polish plumbers. And you know, when I thought of how I could see all those icky green mold in my camembert, I think life is not so bad eating Kraft Singles cheddar after all.

After all, do you know how many glasses of milk there are in one slice of Camembert. Go on, Frenchies, prove me wrong!

At the end of the day, isn't it just the glass of milk in each slice that counts?

Greetings, and welcome to another edition of the Commander Report.

Today, the Commander has some advice for a certain Singaporean leader and his forthcoming lawsuit with the Far Eastern Economic Review.

Inside this report of his lawsuit that you can read here on page 15, there is this line:

"16. In addition, the phrase "How many libel suits have Singapore's great and good wrongly won, covering up real misdeeds?" was repeated and given special prominence in a box in the Article."

Good Sir, I wonder if this is an attempt for the PAP to achieve a younger, hipper image, because it certainly echoes the actions of one of the heroes of Singapore's decadent young, yes, I am talking about that paragon of non-parent-loving Western decadence, Bart Simpson...




I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS



I WILL NOT SHOW OFF


I WILL FINISH WHAT I STA...

Hi, after a long interval I am back.

Recently, a timely issue has been raised by MP Halimah Yaacob in parliament, indeed, she has brought up a great issue worthy of our current situation. Indeed, we have to ensure that the mentally ill in our society must be welcomed back into the fold.


More education on mental illness needed for employers and society

SINGAPORE: More awareness campaigns on mental illnesses are needed to educate employers and society here.
The Government Parliamentary Committee Chairman for Health, Halimah Yacob said that's because more people are expected to suffer from mental illness.
She was speaking to reporters at the launch of a week-long event to commemorate World Mental Health Day on Tuesday (October 10).
Singapore sees as many as 350,000 people suffering from some form of mental illness.
The most common ones are anxiety disorder and depression, and the number of sufferers are likely to go up because of increased pressures at work.
Ms Halimah, who flagged off a walkathon to mark World Mental Health Day, said some with mental illnesses get rejected when applying for a job.
"In the case of someone who develops a mental illness when she or he is already working, the biggest problem is the co-workers as they look at people with mental illness as they view workers with mental illness with a certain amount of fear and also a certain amount of derision," she said.
Ms Halimah said that there was a need to educate people at the workplace so that they can help, as people with mental illnesses needed income to undergo treatment.
The biggest problem facing mental illness is ignorance about it, and this leads to rejecting the sufferers.
That is why organisations and agencies like the Institute of Mental Health have set up booths in the heart of town to educate the public.
The aim is to generate awareness so that mental illness sufferers will not be ostracized. - CNA /dt

Now I am inclined to agree with it, that is until I see this...

Well Mdm Halimah, I suggest you have to start advocating the serious education of mental illness to your own Parliament as soon as possible, I mean, wow, since when did 40 year old public servants get reduced to being public entertainers? Besides, aren't they too old to be dressed like that? Aren't those clothes too tacky for them? I mean they're behind even in following the latest hip hop trends...Wow, it must be crazy down there in the Parliament! Must be more jivin' than Zouk!


MPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next February

By May Wong, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 03 October 2006 1650 hrs



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MPs to perform hip hop dance moves at Chingay Parade next February

SINGAPORE: Members of Parliament from the post-65 generation will be performing hip hop dance moves at the Chingay Parade next year. The parade will be held along Orchard Road on February 23 and 24. The 12 post-65 MPs will perform with 300 hip hop dancers at the Chingay Parade. "The whole process was very enjoyable because the Post-65 MPs, the P-65 team, are very close, so we had a lot of fun doing it. It's more because of the closeness that we have and learning a new dance skills that we're coming forward to also participate in the Chingay," said Teo Ser Luck, Parliamentary Secretary, Community Development, Youth and Sports Ministry. A few of them are not embarrassed to admit that hip hop is not their cup of tea. "I have two left feet, I can't dance but I enjoyed myself. I showed my kids what I did, then they went "mum, loosen up a bit!" My kids can dance but I can't," said Jessica Tan, MP, East Coast GRC. "That's part of the fun - to laugh at yourself, to have a sense of humour about everything and that's what we're trying to do as P-65 MPs, trying to connect with the youth and having fun with them, that's the main thing," said Chris de souza, MP, Holland-Bukit Timah GRC. "All of us are having fun. It's not important whether we perform well, we dance well or whether we look professional on tv or during the parade. Most importantly, we have to connect with the youths of today," said Lam Pin Min, MP, Ang Mo Kio GRC. Aside from the MPs' performance, the Chingay Parade will feature colourful floats and various activities. Stretching along Orchard Road from Liat Towers to Orchard Plaza, it's expected to attract some 200,000 people. - CNA /dt

REMEMBER, WE MUST NOT OSTRACIZE THE MENTALLY ILL IN SOCIETY, REGARDLESS OF THEIR STATURE!

This is THE COMMANDER REPORT, SUPPORTING THE MENTALLY DISTURBED FOR THE CIVIL SERVICE!

OVER AND OUT!